


Pretend Girlfriends

by Kswan



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Just a little one shot to get the writing feels going again, exes and all that jazz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 00:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5026423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kswan/pseuds/Kswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot based off of this prompt: Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later.</p><p>From this post:<br/>http://crankgally.tumblr.com/post/98695577628/yes-but-theres-also-im-hella-sick-but-not-old</p><p>Just fun and fluffy, literally a fluff piece of writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretend Girlfriends

 

Carmilla’s night could not get any worse, until it did. She rarely liked going to restaurants alone, but this was a bar and it served her favourite burger in the whole city. It was really good. As soon as she opened the door though, her mind was immediately filled with memories of her and her ex… Ell. This had been their place, every week they’d come here for their burger fix. They were on first name basis with all the staff and once a month the manager would give them half off their whole bill. But that was then and this was now and boy things had changed.

Carmilla found herself an empty table, facing the door but far enough away to not get a draft. She pretended to be engrossed in the menu, despite knowing exactly what she wanted. A waiter approached her and she braced herself for the inevitable.

 

“Hey Carmsexy! Long-time no see! Where you been? Where’s Ellsexy?”

“Hey Kirsch, yeah it has been a while hasn’t it? Um Ell is… Well she cheated on me so I left her.” She blurted out the truth unwillingly, but if she was being honest with herself, she was tired of dressing up the Ell situation.

“Carmilla. I’m so sorry to hear that bro!” Kirsch gave a sympathetic slap on the shoulder. “What can I get you? Usually? I think I can still remember…” A puzzled look painted itself onto Kirsch’s face and he stared off into space.

“Thanks Kirsch. It’s just the beef burger with all the trimmings, no gherkins. Oh and a Bud if you have one, please.”

“Coming right up!” Kirsch hurriedly scribbled her order down, when the door swung open. Kirsch whipped his head round and Carmilla peered round Kirsch. A girl, about Carmilla’s height, with honey brown hair and the cutest smile Carmilla had ever seen, walked in and waved in their direction.

“Hey little L! Usual too?”

“Yeah Kirsch, that’d be great thank you!” A little more chipper than Carmilla had expected her voice was almost melodic. The girl, little L, sat down at the table adjacent to Carmilla. She looked in Carmilla’s direction and gave her a warm smile, Carmilla returned a polite smile but didn’t linger too long. She’d had enough of girls to last her a lifetime.

The bar wasn’t too busy, there was a buzz of conversation but it wasn’t too loud that you couldn’t hear yourself think. Carmilla took out the newest transcript that her boss had given her and started to read, occasionally sipping on her Bud. Kirsch brought Carmilla and ‘Little L’s’ food at the same time.

“Ladies,” Kirsch wiggled his eyebrows as he lay the plates down on their respective tables.

“Thanks Kirsch!” The girl beamed up at him.

“Yeah thanks.” Carmilla waved her hand in the air, before quickly digging into her dinner. Kirsch did a little bow and wondered off to another table.

 

//

 

Carmilla was halfway through her burger when the door swung open again, tearing her eyes away from her transcript, she glanced towards the door in curiosity.

“Shit.” She whispered when she saw the figures at the door. Her mind was racing. What was she going to do, her options were limited. Should she just up and leave? No. You know what? She was not having this hold over Carmilla. She was staying. But Carmilla needed some…leverage of some sort. Something to show her that Carmilla was doing great without her. She looked up again and saw that they had found a table a little way from her. Thankfully they hadn’t spotted her, yet.

Carmilla whipped her head around and saw that the girl who was sitting on the table next to her had gone to the toilet or the bar or something. Carmilla got an idea. Quickly, Carmilla started moving the girl’s plate, cutlery and jacket over to the seat in front of her. While she waited for the girl to come back she propped up a menu to hide her face from Ell’s table.

“What are you doing?” Carmilla looked up to see a slightly annoyed little L, all Carmilla could do was grab her wrist and lead her towards the spare seat on the table.

“Shh. Don’t raise your voice or anything. But my ex just walked in with the girl she cheated on me with and I needed a plan. This is gonna sound ridiculous but could you please pretend to be my girlfriend for like a half hour? I’ll pay for your meal, I swear.” Carmilla took a deep breath after her plea for help, while the girl just stared at her thoughtfully.

“Which one is she?” The girl finally said, thankfully in a hushed tone.

Carmilla pointed over to Ell, “Over there in the black and red dress. Try and be subtle though.” The girl turned around and pretended to move her jacket on the edge of her chair.

“I’m Laura.” She said turning around and holding out her hand to shake.

“Carmilla.” Carmilla slowly extended her hand, unsure what was happening.

“Ok, so basics. How long have we been dating? Hand holding? Will we need to kiss? Should I laugh at a joke or too? How you wanna play this?”

Her enthusiasm and slightly serious tone threw Carmilla completely. “You’re gonna do it? You don’t think I’m insane?”

“Nah, I would probably do the same if it was me. And not to brag, but I’m not unattractive, so it could work.” Laura shrugged and took a sip from her Cider.

“Ok then. 2 months? Yes, maybe and yes.”

“Yeah 2 months seems plausible, wait how long has it been since you split up?”

“6 months.”

Laura reached out and held Carmilla’s hand, “She made the biggest mistake of her life cheating on you. Let’s show her what she’s missing.” Laura winked at Carmilla before taking a huge bite of her burger.

Carmilla took a big gulp of her beer, half cursing the situation she found herself in, half glad that Laura hadn’t let go of her hand.

“Ok, Carm. After this say something and I’ll laugh, but you’ve got to laugh too ok?”

“Cupcake, have you done this before?” Carmilla was concerned at how Laura seemed to know what she was doing. Laura laughed heartedly and even banged her fist on the table for added effect. Carmilla couldn’t help but laugh too at this ridiculous charade. 

“Soooo while we are here, why don’t we actually find out things about each other?” Laura said swirling her cider bottle round, avoiding Carmilla’s gaze.

“Hmm. I suppose you’re right. But I’m not getting deep and personal, ok?”

“Ok!” Laura sat upright and had this glint in her eye that Carmilla took could only mean she was overly excited. “Lightning round then! Favourite colour, favourite tv show, last film you saw in the cinema, your coffee order, clubs or bars, favourite time of year. Go!”

Carmilla giggled, yeah giggled, at the speed of Laura’s words and how she clearly has these questions up her sleeve for any occasion, which Carmilla found adorable for some reason…

“Ok, black, Orange is the New Black, Ghostbusters, black coffee, bars and November. You?”

“Wait. Ghostbuster?”

“Yeah, they did a showing last October for the anniversary.”

“Huh. I didn’t have you pegged as a Ghostbuster.”

“So you’ve been thinking about me?”

“ANYWAY! Blue, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Inside Out, um hot cocoa, bars, Autumn/Winter.” She beamed at Carmilla when she had finished reeling off her answers. “So what do you do for a living?” Laura’s hand found Carmilla’s again, Carmilla smiled as they interlocked their fingers.

“I’m in publishing. Working my way up to junior editor. You?”

“Oh! That explains why you were reading that transcript thingy early.” Laura nodded at the unbound novel sitting at on the edge of the table.

“You were watching me cutie?”

“Er, no. Well not really, I um.” Laura’s face flushed red, which was entirely too adorable.

“I’m kidding cupcake.” Carmilla said softly as she ran her thumb over Laura’s to reassure her. Laura looked up to meet Carmilla’s eyes and they shared a smile for a while. For a moment, the whole bar melted away and it felt like a real date.

“Carmilla?” The haze was broken and they both looked up at the moment ruiner. Ell was towering over their table, staring at their joined hands.

“Ell.” Carmilla’s throat almost gave up on the word as it was forming, like it didn’t deserve to be said. Laura squeezed Carmilla’s hand and Carmilla felt a rush of security.

“How have you been?”

“What since you decided you were gonna fuc-“

“Hi, I’m Laura.” Laura stuck out her hand for Ell to greet.

“Nice to meet you Laura. How long have you two…”

“About 2 months, right Carm?” Laura turned to Carmilla and beamed at her.

“Yeah that sounds about right babe.” Carmilla kept her eyes on Laura, but she could feel Ell scowling above them.

“Honestly Ell, I don’t know how you could let this one go. She’s definitely a keeper, my family love her!” Laura was still looking at Carmilla, not even thinking about the words she was saying.

“You’ve…met her family? After 2 months?”

“Yeah well, when you move in with your girlfriend, your family tend to want to meet her.” Laura says without skipping a beat, staring Ell down.

“You’re living together?!” Ell spat out.

“Well we were practically living together anyway, so we thought we’d save some money if we just made it official. Isn’t that right cutie?” Carmilla’s eye flicked from Ell to Laura. They stay on Laura and the way she smiles at her does something to Carmilla’s stomach she wasn’t expecting.

Ell stood, mouth open, unsure what to say next. “Hey Carm, I’m gonna go get us some more drinks.” Laura leaned over and captured Carmilla’s lips in a slow, sweet kiss. Carmilla’s hand instinctively went to Laura’s cheek as she kissed her back. When they did pull back from each other, both girls were blushing profusely but neither said a word. Laura stood up, nodded at Ell and wondered over to the bar.

“Wow. You guys seem very happy.” Ell’s words made Carmilla’s stomach do the thing again. “I’ll leave you in peace.” Ell turns to leave, but stops and puts her hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. “I’m happy you’ve found someone who makes you so happy.” Carmilla hears Ell’s words, but her eyes are glued to Laura, who is on her way back to their table.

“Phew! We did it!” Laura throws herself in her chair and hands Carmilla her drink. “Cheers!” Laura clinks their bottles together and smiles into her drink.

.A moment passed, they just stared at each other before something occurred to Carmilla. “You never said what your job was cutie.”

“Oh! I’m a designer, graphic designer.”

“Very interesting.” Carmilla’s hand reached out for Laura’s across the table. They both watched their hands join slowly, each touch eliciting an electric shock. They looked at each other as if they could both tell the other felt it too.

“You know, this fake date has been better than most of my real dates.”

“Oh really? That can only mean one thing cutie.”

“What’s that?” A blush had started to make its way up Laura’s neck.

“We have to go on a real date to see if it’s the date or the company.” Carmilla winked before taking a swig of her beer.

“If that’s only thing we can do, it needs to be done.” Laura giggled and looked down for a second.

“Hey cutie, you wanna go someplace else? Grab a drink or something?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” They stood up and put their jackets on. Carmilla left some money on the table for their meals. They started walking towards the door when Carmilla put her arm around Laura’s shoulder. She glanced behind them to see Ell gawking at them. She just smiled and pulled Laura closer.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that nothing really happens but it's fluff so we always like fluff right? Anyway, I'm on tumblr (still) netflixandduvets come talk to me, I get lonely sometimes. k thanks bye


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